Every day people all around the world look into the mirror and hate what they see. That little inner demon has taken over their mind and made them believe that they aren’t good enough.
Every day is a battle with ourselves and our beauty.
Think about it. When you take a group picture with your friends, you immediately look for yourself and pick out what is wrong. “Ugh, redo, why didn’t you tell me my hair was messed up?!”
When you walk past a mirror you quickly take a glance to make sure everything is “in its place”
But, it shouldn’t be like that.
Heck no. It shouldn’t be like that.
Why are we not looking in the mirror or looking at that photo and saying, “Dang, I’m a natural beauty!”
Well, here’s my story to break free from that inner demon…
Back in 2002, I was diagnosed with Alopecia, an autoimmune disease that attacks your hair follicles causing your hair to fall out in patches. It falls out, grows back, and then falls out again – sometimes all my hair & sometimes just a little. Every single day since then, I have had to battle with this inner demon telling me it’s ugly and embarrassing. Due to the hair loss, I wore a wig for 6 years. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. I dealt with being teased, I had people say, “Do you know you’re balding?” and then whisper about it. I had people suggest I shower more because my hair (which they did not know was a wig) looked dirty and stiff. I would purposefully sit so my back was to the wall and nobody could come up behind me and touch my wig. I would wear hooded jackets every time I went to a fair or theme park, so that my wig wouldn’t fly off as I rode the rides. I would sleep in this itchy gross wig, so my roommates wouldn’t know I was different. I would go into battle mode when someones hand came even remotely close to my head. I had teachers treat me differently and pull me aside making sure I was “okay”. The list goes on…
But, I wasn’t physically in pain at all. I was emotionally in pain.
I hid this for years and I admit I still continue to hide it at times. However, I have become way more open about it since no longer wearing the wig these past 2 years.
I realized that it’s part of me and I’m stuck with it forever. Why not own it?
The truth is…we are all beautiful. I am gosh darn beautiful.
Am I missing a few patches of hair? Sure. Does it annoy the crap out of me? Definitely.
But am I patient, loving, and goofy? Yes. Am I honest, respectful, and confident? Yes.
Am I different? Yes.
But so is every single person in this world. We all have our inner demon and we all have our own issues and secrets.
But you, yes you…you are beautiful. Go tell yourself that. Over and Over and Over. I dare you.
|A current full (minus a few very small patches) head of hair!|
So what has my inner demon taught me?
- It’s taught me that my inner demon is stupid. It’s not worthy. Don’t listen to it.
- It’s taught me to not be judgmental toward others because we are all living our own battle.
- It’s taught me that people who judge me for being different aren’t worth my time.
- It’s taught me that I am beautiful and I need to be comfortable in my own skin.
What’s your story? Tell me something that you find beautiful about yourself.